Old Woman All Skin and Bone

The woman to the preacher said,
“Shall I look like that when I am dead?”

20131225_225538

The preacher was getting pretty sick of her shit. This was the fifth time today she’d asked that question, and he really wished she’d stop digging up the church graveyard.

Me tie dough-ty walker!

20131225_225408

Lynchee kinchy colly molly dingo dingo!

…which, by the way, translates respectively as ‘Doggie wanna go walkies?’ and ‘New owner, observe, this is what happened to the last guy who only pretended to throw the ball.’

The Big Toe

A boy was digging at the edge of the garden when he saw a big toe. He tried to pick it up, but it was stuck to something.

20131225_225300

This, apparently, was shocking, and not at all the normal course of things. Big toes just came right off. Noses, too.

Like little meat-berries.